I wrote these intentions in early December of 2018 and I’m sharing them with you now, just a few days after the start of the new year and just a day shy of the Chinese New Year. Throughout 2018 I collected my intentions through my experiences. 2018 was an incredibly challenging yet rewarding year. It was perhaps the best and worst year of my life. Ok, maybe not the worst. But at the very least, SO challenging. It pushed and pulled me in ways that forced me to expand my subconscious beliefs. This meant beautifully growing into my worth, but that’s not always an easy process.
Let’s start with why it was my best year yet: my career took off this year. My favorite photography clients became consistent clients. I photographed two cookbooks coming out in March of 2019, both in the wellness world, with incredible authors (pre-order Mickey’s book here). I photographed twelve magical weddings of couples who valued my photography and were so incredibly kind. I launched an entire new business offering in the wellness world, my Human Design Readings, which have had huge success in helping others align with their authentic selves. I began learning the new skill of wet plate photography as a hobby. I drove thousands of miles on road trips and enjoyed every second. I settled into my cozy home and welcomed two new kitties: Ruby and Fox. I not only learned what boundaries are but I learned how to implement them.
And now onto the more challenging aspects: the first is that while my career took off, I had a hard time saying no. I pushed my limits to the max and continued to say yes even though my body needed down time. I got incredibly burnt out and now I’m taking the last two weeks of December, and hopefully the entire month of January off, because I am tired on a very deep internal level. While I held space and read over two hundred people’s charts in a nine month period, it was amazing, but at this point, I’m once again feeling deeply tired. I simply need time off and I need to learn boundaries around career. Ultimately, I learned that life is about more than work. I let work take over my life this year at the expense of my body, my mental health, my relationships and my community. I wanted to serve everyone that came my way while also learning that is not sustainable. On top of all of this, I worked through immense grief this year. Deep seeded grief and it was difficult. Especially because dealing with grief was sparked by realizing how loose my energetic boundaries were in my life up until this year. This was the year of not only learning what boundaries were, but how to actually implement them. No one ever said honoring your boundaries was fun or easy; it' can be incredibly challenging and even painful to step into your own personal power because that means clearing anything from your life that does not honor your boundaries or serve your highest self. While some relationships suffered and then grew stronger through use of boundaries, some did not. Those that benefit from someone having zero boundaries generally don’t stick around once they are implemented. And sometimes they do, and that is beautiful!
WITH ALL OF THESE BEAUTIFUL AND PAINFUL LESSONS OF THIS YEAR, MY INTENTIONS FOR 2019 HAVE NATURALLY RISEN TO MY CONSCIOUSNESS.
My first intention of 2019 is to refocus on cultivating community and friendships in my immediate community. While it can be easy to feel like your in community through social media, at the end of the day, I have realized I’m disconnected from community. This looks like doing more reaching out, accepting more invitations, continuing to take care of my physical and mental health so that I can show up for others. I hope to continue to cultivate the friendships in my life that are present and to also form new bonds with people who share similar interests and passions.
This year, I’d like to get myself away from being on the computer so much and take some time to get my hands dirty. I feel a strong urge to learn about permaculture after a life time of understanding the importance of food as medicine. I want to grow my own food; I yearn for this. I watched the documentary Inhabit, which is all about permaculture and it was a wake up call for me that I need to learn more about this. One of my dreams is to be able to grow my own food for myself and those who I love. I yearn for a beautiful and abundant garden and I don’t know the first thing about where to start. I’d like to connect with soil and folks who can share their knowledge for working with our Mother and in return I would like to support them in their cultivation of caring for land. I’m going to do this by volunteering at three farms in 2019 for an extended stay. Did I just write that!? It SCARES me, which I’m sure is a good thing. Each visit may be a few weeks to a month in length at max. I’ve already picked out a few farms I am interested in through WOOF USA, which is a platform for connecting with apprenticeship opportunities at organic farms. I’m very excited about this. It has been a long time coming. I’ve had a WOOF membership for years and this year I am finally going to take advantage of this.
3. SELF CARE
More self-care. I’m not talking about more baths and healthy food, which is are of course still important to me. Rather, I’m talking about continuing to honor my boundaries, my dreams, my desires, my needs and accepting them as they change and flow throughout the cycle of one year. Continuing to learn how to integrate my shame and shadow (we all have this and this is what creates our limiting beliefs.) I will continue to practice the art of making decisions through my own inner guide instead of looking to others for answers. Caring for myself on a deep internal level. Saying NO when work doesn’t feel in alignment. Being okay with taking time off to recharge. Upholding my energetic boundaries.
This coming year, I plan to be more intentional about dedicating time to hobbies. Doing stuff for the sake of having fun and creating joy instead of being driven my money. Here are some activities I look forward to both experiment with and continue to cultivate in an incredibly gentle way: pottery, wet plate collodion photography, film photography, gardening, drawing, writing, wreath making with natural elements, cooking, basket weaving, nordic skiing, Kirtan, playing the harmonium.
Continuing the process of practicing minimalism and intention in my immediate home, space, and life as far as ‘things and objects’ are involved. This was also an intention that I carried through 2018 and plan to continue to refine. For me, this looks like continuing to refine my belongings. Committing to buying items from small businesses and companies who are committed to not only sustainability, but also regenerative practices; purchasing second-hand, used, vintage as well. This is applied to food, home goods, clothing, body care products and literally every avenue that the exchange of energy flows. And lastly, recognizing that I need less than I think.
And that’s it. Those are my five intentions for 2019. I could have written so many more. But for the sake of keeping things concise and focused, these are at the top of my list. I am committed to these intentions. They are important to me. I would love to hear what your intentions for 2019 are in the comments below.